Girls are raised to be nice and demure and feminine. I like feminine girls. I don't like dykey girls, girls with muscles and gruffnesses and rough hands. I like my women soft and feminine and nice smelling. Girls have girl friends before they have boy friends, and they whisper and share secrets and giggle a lot. Girls have sleepovers with other girls. --I could really get into that! I could see myself practicing kissing with my girl friends at those sleepovers, and I could see myself sleeping with my girl friends! I could REALLY see caressing other girls and them caressing me and making each other feel really good under the covers in our rooms with our parents comfy in the living room or in the next bedroom, not knowing --or even suspecting or being concerned with us feeling each other up and playing with each others soft little bodies in the next room. Our giggling and carrying on would only be a slight distraction, nothing more. If we kept it down and didn't start. As I began to grow, I learned all these things were normal and I slowly inured to the new concept of being an only child, at home.Jason started a family immediately (I think he married because his girl was carrying his baby) and before I was even seven, I was an uncle.I saw very little of my brother after that, except at cookouts and the like, and it suited me just fine because every time we got together, I got stuck watching his little Lisa, everybody's bundle of joy.Except Lisa had to be the center of attention, wherever she was. She hated me for being able to ignore her so very easily. She got me in trouble over nothing many times, just to show me that she COULD!Unfortunately, my early experiences with Lisa were my very first interpersonal female exchanges, and it left me with a complex: I not only disliked females (as many boys do), but I distrusted them, as well.My mother knew how sexually active Jason had been and what it might have cost him in the long run, so she let me dangle.
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